After two decades of study and debate, a learned group of international law scholars, human rights activists and renegade priests has discovered the most effective way to end war: require every nation to obtain permission before invading another country. IC is proud to present this draft copy of their proposal…

United Nations

Instigation of Hostilities Permission Slip

IDENTIFYING INFORMATION

___________________________________________
Name of Applicant

___________________________________________
Date

Are you currently under attack?
□  Yes
□  No
You may qualify for expedited service if you are currently under attack. Please be sure you are current on your annual dues.

Do you need help defending your country?
□  Yes
□  No
□  France

Is there massive genocide in your country of which the UN is unaware?
□  Yes
□  No

Have you ever voted for the state of Israel in the General Assembly?
□  Yes
□  No
□  Only on unimportant issues
If Yes, please attach a separate form with detailed explanation.

How often do you vote with the United States in the General Assembly?
□  less than 10% of the time

□  10% or more
Your answer to this question may affect the availability of expedited service for your application.

Are you currently the subject of UN sanctions?
□  Yes
□  No
□  Unsure

Please secure the signatures of these five members of the Security Council before you take any military action (all signatures must be in black ink):

___________________________________________
George W. Bush, President, United States

___________________________________________
Tony Blair, Prime Minister, Great Britain

___________________________________________
Jacques Chirac, President, France

___________________________________________
Hu Jintao, President, China

___________________________________________
Vladimir Putin, President, Russia

*We have copies of these signatures so don't try any foolish stuff.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Would you like the UN to conduct a military operation on your behalf? (seriously)
□  Yes
□  No
□  Only if the US is actually doing the fighting

Check here if your application has been pending over a year without a response.
□  Yes
□  No
You may qualify for expedited service if your application has been pending for over a year (non-US applicants only).

Check one for expedited service.
□  The US is the biggest threat to world peace.
□  The US is imperialist.
□  Israel is a fascist state.

Thank you for complying with international law.  We will process your application in the order in which it was received.

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