By his own definition, Senator Edwards' own family no longer qualifies as "regular Americans."

Senator and now Democratic Vice Presidential candidate John Edwards of North Carolina had always been on the 'A' list of VP Candidates for Democratic nominee in waiting John ‘Heinz’ Kerry. It was finally made official Tuesday morning, shortly before Senator Kerry made the public announcement at a rally in Pittsburgh. The Massachusetts' patrician choose Edwards in order to infuse some energy into his often uninspiring campaign, by putting a good ol’ boy with a populist message from down South on the ticket.

Kerry’s choice won’t help the Democrats win one deep Southern State. However, it may cause the GOP to at least consider spending some campaign money in those Southern and Western States that may be more competitive with Senator Edwards on the Democratic ticket. These states include Georgia, North Carolina, Missouri, and voter rich Florida — along with protectionist West Virginia — a formally safe Democratic state that voted for President Bush in 2000. If the Democrats had held on to West Virginia four years ago, we would be addressing Al Gore as President today.

Edwards is an attractive Vice Presidential candidate for many reasons, besides his youthful appearance, southern charm, and perfect hair and teeth. He has been able, far better than the man at the top of the Democratic ticket, Mr. Kerry, to take an old and tired Democratic message and deceitfully re-package it as a new and vibrant campaign theme. With of course a distinctly Clintonesque drawl. He is committed, he said during his own run for the Democratic nomination, not to seek the Presidency, or I would assume the Vice Presidency, for his own personal gratification, but rather, in order to represent us. Doesn’t that make you feel warm and southerly all over?

Who are we, I mean us? Well, let the Senator speak for himself. In an excerpt from Senator Edward’s now familiar VP sweepstakes stump speech, first printed this past fall in the Washington Post when he was still running for President, he said, “I think the people of America deserve a President who comes from them,” later in the same speech referring to them as us 'regular' Americans. In a January 12th profile article in the New York Times, “A Journey From a Mill Town Ends With a Run for President,” Senator Edwards defiantly does it again. After sarcastically referring to President Bush as an elitist and a phony that cares about nothing but protecting the wealthy, he provocatively states, Bush and his values are simply not part of “our America.”

How does Senator Edwards define the term ‘our’ or ‘regular’ American? Well, according to him, if your Father worked in a mill or factory all his life, your Mother worked for the Post Office, and you found the time to work your way through college and law school, you are definitely one of us. Of course, the fact that the saintly Senator from North Carolina spent nearly twenty years representing us regular Americans as a high-powered and well connected trail attorney, and became a multimillionaire in the process, does not change his status as a member in good standing as one of us. You see, politicians never lose touch with a past life if it can provide them with a catchy campaign theme on their way to a successful political future.

Now let’s discuss them. You know, not us regular Americans, but those other guys. Yes, they are usually middle-aged white Republican men with prominent Anglo surnames like Bush and Buckley, who sailed through the generations together from Plymouth Rock to Kennebunkport, never quite drifting leftward enough to make it to Martha’s Vineyard. Which brings us to an important amendment to the rules regarding us and them. The Kennedy’s of Massachusetts have been granted a membership exemption as one of them, remaining in good standing throughout the years as one of us, because like the Roosevelt’s, excluding of course wayward Teddy, these two regular American families became more like us, and less like them, when they became Democrats. Are you still following me? Good, let’s continue.

Once again, back to them. If your Father was educated and worked for a large corporation, or God forbid served his country as a Senator or President, the same office that Mr. Edwards just sought to better represent us; and your Mother came from a wealthy enough family where she didn’t have to work at the Post Office or anywhere else, you are definitely not one of us — as defined by Senator Edwards. You are one of them, which I guess makes you something like two-thirds of an American. Former U.S. Chief Justice Roger Taney would have been proud of such cognitive logic, although I am sure less pleased about who Senator Edwards is now rhetorically defining as one of them.

Senator Edwards goes on to say that his Father, a lifelong card carrying member of us, was never an insider and had never had a single lobbyist on his payroll in Washington, DC. He really did say that. Good, a further definition of us. This is very helpful. If you have your own personal paid lobbyist, and you are a Washington insider, you simply can’t be one of us. This means that I actually qualify as a regular American. I don’t employ a personal lobbyist, I am not a Washington insider, I am certainly not a member of any elitist Anglo clan from New England with a surname like DiFulvio, and to seal the deal as one of us, I come from a working class ethnic family who are all registered Democrats.  Man, it feels so good to be one of us, after so many years of thinking that a Roman Catholic Italian-American kid from New Jersey would have a difficult time ever being accepted as a regular American. Oh wait; I’m a Republican, which could cause Senator Edwards to reconsider my credentials to join ‘his’ America. 

I also have some bad news for our new leader in waiting, Senator Edwards. His own family can no longer qualify as one of us regular Americans. This is because he has now become a highly educated multi-millionaire insider and influential Senator who may one day become President. Unfortunately, according to his own rhetorical musings and definition of what it is to be a regular American, and one of us, the Senator’s family, his colleagues, and I am sure many of his closest friends, thanks to their close personal relationship with him, have become one of them. Life sure does provide its own sprinkling of pompous related irony when you least expect it, doesn’t it?

Maybe the Senator and all those other cynically ambitious class warfare totting politicians who wish to divide us by where we come from, how much money we have in our bank account, or how we choose to define ourselves, will stop trying to exploit the differences between us and them. This way we can embark on a shared journey to become what Senator Edwards seems unwilling to even marginally embrace in his foolishly predictable campaign rhetoric. That is the noble American belief in the idea of one nation, one people, sharing equally in a common destiny fueled by opportunity; and not by a social and cultural resentment ignited by the use of politically irresponsible demagoguery masquerading as honest public discourse.