Crazy comes in many forms, as we were reminded by the Muslim cartoon riots – and by the grotesque calls for tolerance that followed. Here, the cult of tolerance has come full circle – tolerance for the intolerant, allowing anyone’s arbitrary beliefs and superstitions to trump freedom of speech. Coincidentally and fortuitously, the latest issue of Rolling Stone (March 9, 2006) also reminds us of the existence of Scientology. Crazy is as crazy does.

Briefly, Islam is a religion of war, originally spread by conquest, a tradition that its present-day followers seem keen on continuing. Islam in its pure, radical form knows no separation between church and state, relegates women to subhuman status, lacks any commitment to liberty, and seeks to outlaw miniskirts.

One of the tenets of Islam bans images or likenesses of Mohammed. In response to Danish newspapers printing cartoons of Big M, Muslims all over the world rioted. Maulana Yousef Qureshi, a cleric in Peshawar, announced a $1 Million bounty for killing the cartoonists. The signs held by many of the rioters, including those in London, vowed variously to impose Islamic law on the entire world, or, in a bow to efficiency, to just kill us all.

Here in America, some people spoke of tolerance, which sounds promising in this context. After all, the Muslim rioters sure seemed to lack it, and could use a crash course in it. Unfortunately, the calls for tolerance were not aimed at the rioters, but at us. The message was not that people shouldn’t riot over cartoons, but that we shouldn’t do or draw anything that might offend a crazy religious person. To wit, the State Department had this to say:

"Anti-Muslim images are as unacceptable as anti-Semitic images, as anti-Christian images, or any other religious belief."

Wrong. Anti-Muslim images are as acceptable as football on Sundays. Anti-Christian images are perfectly fine – for example, if one isn’t fond of such oddities as Original Sin, then one should, logically, say so, be it in words or images. Anti-Semitic images are in a different league because they usually come from a place of racial hatred and threats of harm. But if someone wanted to simply criticize the religious tenets of Judaism or sketch a cartoon of Moses in a cowboy hat, it’s all good.

The point is that no religion or other belief system should have veto power over freedom of speech. Religious tenets like the Muslim prohibition against images of Mohammad are as arbitrary as my ex-girlfriend’s prohibition of Cameron Diaz posters. There is no reason to pay either edict any respect.

We must recapture this basic truth: It is not inherently wrong to offend others. It’s okay to offend. The fact that someone takes offense to something does not imply that they are right to take offense, or that what they are offended by is wrong.

Now, on to Crazy Is As Crazy Does #2 – Scientology. According to Rolling Stone, this religion of L. Ron Hubbard offers us the following Creation story: 75 million years ago, this part of the galaxy was ruled by a not so righteous dude named Xenu. The inhabited planets of that era were overpopulated, so Xenu drugged the people up and flew them to Earth, whereupon he placed them in volcanoes and nuked them. Their souls were then captured, and…sorry, this is so crazy it‘s beginning to bore me.

In closing. crazy religions deserve mockery. Mocking contemporary Islam should be a sport, and mocking Scientology should be in the Olympics. We should not fret over whom we offend. We should fret over whether what we say is true and correct – regardless of whether barbarians object to it. The Mohammed cartoons should have been reprinted by every newspaper in America, as a principled show of support and solidarity for freedom of speech – for civilization. And now, I call for more cartoons. I have a specific one in mind: Mohammed and L. Ron Hubbard, in a lover’s embrace, lips locked, hearts racing, eyes crazy…each finally having found his reflection in another.