In what can only be described as a conspiracy of misinformation, data on assaulted husbands is swept under the rug.
A revealing research paper on domestic violence (DV) published in the Florida State University Law Review provides a promising new twist to a thorny problem – assuming, of course, it can overcome stereotypcal attitudes and get the attention it deserves.
According to author and Indiana School of Law Professor Linda Kelly, women can be batterers. Men can be victims. And abuse by females needs to be eradicated, as well as abuse by males. (Kelly, L, "Disabusing the Definition of Domestic Abuse: How Women Batter Men and the Role of the Feminist State;" Fla. St. Univ. Law Rev, Vol 30:791)
It will be interesting to see how Kelly's 65-page paper is received, as she treads on ground long held sacred and untouchable by women's rights goups, who, according to Kelly, have been influencing every state's DV policy using double standards and biased data which discriminate against men.
As long ago as 1981, Straus, Gelles and Steinmetz discovered some of the data referred to by Kelly, reporting it in "Behind Closed Doors: Violence in the American Family." Nearly 1.8 million American women were assaulted annually by their husbands that year — shameful data that was elevated for all to see via insightful ads posted everywhere trumpeting the fact that "Every 17 seconds a woman is assaulted by her husband."
What the general public never saw, though, was the "real surprise," to quote the authors: 2 million husbands (200 thousand more) who were assaulted by their wives.
In what can only be described as a conspiracy of misinformation, the data on assaulted husbands was swept under the rug. No ads were ever produced depicting the average 16-second time span between assaults by wives on their husbands, or the fact that women are hitting men with higher assault rates.
And so it is, as Kelly warns against, with educational seminars like New Hampshire's annual Conference on DV sponsored by the Governor's Commission on Domestic and Sexual Violence, whose purpose is to "Improve the Investigative, Judicial, Administrative and Community Response."
Efforts to "improve" seem fair on its face — except that judges who want to "improve" themselves should not be attending DV conferences loaded with sexist half-truths, innuendo and special agendas.
The slide presentation of one Mary Bettley provides us with the best evidence of such bias. What judge could be expected to make fair decisions after being exposed to half-truths like, "50% of men who assaulted their wives also abused their children?" Shouldn't judges also be taught the rate of child abuse for women who assaulted their husbands? And be made aware that women are twice as likely to assault their children than men?
Only half the story, furthermore, was given for the cycle of violence: "He (the boy) sees hitting and learns," reports Bettley. Don't girls learn about hitting from their moms when they see it? Was it Bettley's intention to teach the hundreds of judges and criminal justice people gathered to "improve" themselves, that only males learn about, and do the hitting around the house?
Another example of questionable scholarship comes from Dr. James Knoll, who echoed the Rule of Thumb, a damaging bit of nonsense and myth that was debunked long ago as a libelous falsehood by Who Stole Feminism author Christine Hoff Sommers. The rule, which serves as an unfair character assassination that refuses to die and which never existed except in the mind set of the feminist state, held that "men could beat their wives so long as they used a stick no bigger than their thumb."
Dr. Knoll seemed loathe to acknowledge that men have a long record of loving, protecting and glorifying the fair sex — building magnificent temples to honor women and installing them on high pedestals. Apparently it's more PC and profitable to malign men as cruel beasts, especially at federally-financed conferences constructed to teach that only men are responsible for DV.
Noticed for his absence from the conference was Murray Straus, PhD, director of the Family Research Lab at UNH and world class expert on DV who lives and works in New Hampshire. He was not invited. Was this because of his position that female aggression should not be ignored? Or his revelation that men are compelled to stay in abusive relationships for the same reasons heretofore reserved for women? Or that his life might again be threatened for treading on untouchable topics?
Will Kelly be ignored, too?
DV is equal opportunity abuse, and we should demand that all perpetrators be held accountable on an equal basis, if only as a matter of safety for women. Let's hope that reasonable and objective people like Kelly and Straus, et al, can be part of the dialogue going forward.








DV does go both ways, and many reasons have been stated, both political and personal, as to why female on male violence goes under reported.
Whenever a situation is biased to one side, and this comes to the attention of "the public", the pendulum swings too far in the other direction. In some areas, this has already occurred.
In many places, there seems to be a rule in place that, whomever strikes first is the guilty party. While this is a fine rule between two people of equally matched size and weight, such as in a barroom brawl, it is not the best basis for DV.
Case in point from a local incident. The male was much bigger and physically stronger than the female. He was holding her against a ponywall over the 2nd floor, verbally threatening her, leaning her back into the open space of the stairwell. She then slapped him, open handed, and pushed him away.
Under normal circumstances, this would be classified as self-defence. She was in danger of being pushed over the railing, and she used minimum violence to escape.
Yet, because of the DV situation, she was arrested with felony DV, and custody of the child was given to the male. The court date was set for 8 months away. In the mean time, she could have no contact with their young child.
This is just the most recent case – there have been many others. Answers need to be found, but we must ensure that we are not going too far in the other direction so not to appear biased.
The difference between women and men can be summed in one word: RESPONSIBILITY!
While men commit horrific crimes, women have been proven to do horrific crimes in equal numbers as well. The difference is generally responsibility. Men will hold each other accountable while women generally look for an excuse to explain and reduce responsibility on their part. Men generally look on personal responsibility as defining manhood while women will fall back on excuses and victimhood to define their negative roles in society.
Lack of that character trait; personal responsibility defines the American woman of today. In violence against her children, against men and society, in work and politics as well as day to day living.
Lack of personal responsibilty, unfortunately it is the single most important reason women should not be in high office as well.
A better word would be accountability. American women do not really know what it is like to be held accountable for their actions.
Accountability is exactly right. It all goes back to the old maxim of "if you don't use, you lose it". Women are not inherently unaccountable. It is a result of the "feminist" movement. In the eyes of those who buy into it, a man cannot be responsible for anything good, only bad. If something positive occurs, they argue that it is because of the diversity (women) surrounding him. Women's actions are often written off to male oppression or some other accountability liberating premise. They have been deconditioned from accountability. Only women can do right (ie: the whole "finally a woman in charge notion" regarding Pelosi). Women who do not posess a moral/spiritual compass often buy into false doctrines such as feminism. It's quite unfortunate…men and women are intended to complement one another, not dominate one another.
mpm2h; very true for today's U.S. society.
My name is Kenn and I am a victim of a woman aggressor, you would be shocked to find out how law enforcement treats a man who reports this. I wasnt taken seriously and even mocked by the officers when they thought I wasnt being "tough". What does that have to do with anything? Ive been working construction in Milwaukee for nearly 10 years throwing chunks of concrete around like toys. Then you have a 5 foot burnette attacking you 3 min after you come home on a daily basis. Id say I was the tough, see Ive never abused a woman and wont, My father did and the shame left him hanging in the woods, not gonna happen to me and my son isnt even going to know what domestic abuse is, since I learned at such and young age