A special interest group talked California’s two leading research scientists, Michael J. Fox and Nancy Reagan, into publicly supporting Prop. 71, the so-called stem cell initiative. Embryonic stem cell research would lead to cures for Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease, cancer, heart disease and diabetes according to Michael and Nancy. Of course the fine print in the initiative doesn’t actually require the recipients of the money to develop therapeutic cures, it only requires California to establish a stem cell research agency and pass out $3 billion over ten years to whomever the appointed board members deem worthy of support.

And, strangely enough, if cures for Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease were announced tomorrow morning by some Korean or French research lab, the state would continue to hand out the $3 billion. You see the law didn’t promise to stop giving away money if cures are found; the Proposition was specifically designed to give away 3 billion dollars to special interests and the miracle cures were simply voter bait. Ironically, the initiative was also promoted to the voters as financial seed money for a vast, bio-research industry that would germinate and thrive in California’s sunny valleys – you know, Stem Cell Valley just outside San Jose.

Promote new industries or develop miracle cures? Doesn’t matter which, the money is for a good cause so Californians readily agreed to give special interest groups $3 billion in return for that good old college try – no guaranteed results, no money back refunds if we’re not satisfied.

Maybe that’s just sour grapes; after all, we got Velcro and Tang from all that NASA money we spent on moon shots. So what’s the stem cell equivalent of Velcro? Well, we’re not sure what that might be out here on the Left Coast, but we’re pretty sure whatever it is, it will be good for us.

If the Feds take a page from California’s book, we will desperately need the stem cell cure for gullibility. If California can give away $3 billion, what could the Federal government do? $100 billion, $200 billion – the sky’s the limit! And what does funding embryonic stem cell research have to do with state or federal governing functions? Why absolutely nothing of course, but it does make for great politics.

You see, in California, the new Prop. 71 state agency (California Institute for Regenerative Medicine) doesn’t have to publicly disclose where the money went (it’s exempt from those pesky “open meeting” laws) or which parties received the hand-outs, err, “research grants”. That information remains secret or, as they politely term it, “confidential”. The Institute has 50 employees exempt from all civil service rules. And, the governor, certain University of California chancellors, the speaker of the assembly, the president pro-tem of the state senate and a few other favored politicians get to appoint commissioners to the Oversight Commission that doles out the money. However, the Oversight Commissioners did promise to recuse themselves whenever there was a conflict of interest between the private parties they represent and the proposed handout to some deserving special interest group. Fascinating concept that “recuse”.

It works something like this. Oversight Commissioner A represents a group of private businesses that would like to develop their own patents on new medical procedures or therapeutic drugs without paying for the required research. Oversight Commissioner B represents state and private university groups that would like a mere hundred million or so this year to fund their labs and pet research projects. So, when it comes time to vote on some modest $50 million grant, Commissioner A recuses himself from voting so Commissioner B can give those private businesses the money and Commissioner B recuses himself whenever Commissioner A decides to return the favor. It’s all perfectly legal and above board.

Everyone wins; the politicians get to control a vast giveaway and call in favors for appointing the Oversight Commission members suggested by the special interest groups, the special interest groups get a fairy godmother on the Oversight Committee who personally oversees the distribution of our tax money to the proper parties and the general public gets hope for those soon to be announced miracle cures. We’ll be seeing those miracle cures announced any day now – won’t we?