We ARE the party of Change!!

[crowd roars]

What do I mean by Change? Excellent question; and, I will get to that in a moment.

But, we also want to be the party of unitizing … uh, that is … of bringing people … The People … together [that’s what I meant to say]; except … maybe … we don’t want any Limbaugh-loving, hate-spewing, flag-pin pushing, redneck racists joining our party because they aren’t real people … that is, not real-Americans because real-Americans believe as we believe, want what we want – Change; not specific changes mind you, but ‘Change’ … Change that brings us all together … all that is … except those gawd-awful G*d-&-guns, anti-gay, anti-choice, anti-living-Constitution, anti-progress, rightwing-nut jobs who refuse to get onboard the Change-Wagon … uh, Bus – but real people; people without jobs but with Hope – because Hope brings about Change and I am also about Hope and that was the theme … that is … that was another theme of my book [autographed copies can be purchased in the lobby]. Uh … that is … I mean none of those xenophobic, homophobic, misogynistic, Nation-of-Islam profiling, welfare-state hating, conspiracy-theorizing, gospel-quoting whackos who take the Constitution way too literally, oppress people in places like Iraq, and want the U.N. out of the USA.

[crowd roars]

And, no pushy, New York, can’t-make-her-mind-up-she’s-a-Democrat-or-conservative, who thinks she ought to be given the Presidency just because “she waited her turn” and hasn’t a clue about Change … or Hope … or Hope that Changes … or Changing Hopes … or Hoping for any kind of Change … Change that gives us real power for a change; because, now, it’s my … our turn … and WE represent real Hope for a Change!

[crowd roars approval]

And, just to be fair & balanced, WE [royally] disassociate ourselves from those heroic gentlemen of the [liberationist] pulpit who speak somewhat … how can I spin this positively … ‘disparagingly’ of whites and country, even though WE basically agree with most of their rage against oppression and sat in their pews listening for the last 20-years without comment; because that doesn’t bring us together for Change [just now] and we NEED to unite … as a party and as a people … For Change.

[crowd less enthusiastic]

Other than that, we’re the ‘Everyman’ party (as long as they want what we want, acknowledge the debt owed us for all the years we spent chopping cotton at the back of the bus [or our parents did ... I think ...], and know their place; and, … if they do that, … just maybe we’ll let them stay in OUR party – for a Change)!

[crowd laughingly roars ... chorus of AMEN! Amen brother!]

Ask not what you can do for country; … ask what your country has done lately to bring us together. Bring me your tired, your oppressed, your Medicare-dependent grannies; even the ones six-feet under (if still registered). Vote early, vote often, and make sure every vote gets counted … twice.

Thank you.

[crowd roars approval]

[Whispers to aide: Do we sing Kumbaya now or later?]

I don’t hear a lot of that “I ain’t votin for that N….!”, but after seeing the cheering congregation at OHB’s church, I hear a lot of “John McCain’s a hero, you know!”