Why does the news media stubbornly refuse to put the words "Steve McNair" and "domestic violence" in the same sentence?
Am I the only one who is disturbed by the double-standard that permeates the media coverage of Steve McNair's shooting death?
On July 4 the former NFL star was killed by girlfriend Sahel Kazemi. McNair was shot as he lay asleep on his couch, first in the left temple, twice in the chest, and finally in his right temple.
So why are the news media stubbornly refusing to put the words "Steve McNair" and "domestic violence" in the same sentence? And where are all the hand-wringers who reflexively shriek, we need to break the shroud of silence that surrounds partner abuse?
On July 2 a distraught Kazemi met an acquaintance in the parking lot of the restaurant where she worked. For $100, the 20-year-old woman found herself the new owner of a fully-loaded 9mm semiautomatic pistol.
The following day Kazemi told a co-worker, "my life is a ball of ****, and I should just end it." Leaving the restaurant, the Iranian-American went home, then drove over to McNair's downtown apartment in the Cadillac Escalade the former NFL quarterback had given her. McNair was not home, so she awaited his arrival.
McNair returned to his apartment between 1:30 and 2 a.m. We do not know what words the two exchanged, or what time he eventually fell asleep. When the police arrived at the scene of the crime, there was no evidence that McNair had raised his hands to ward off the shots, confirming the theory that he was asleep at the time.
So what did the media do with the story?
A July 6 article in the New York Times conjectured the incident may have been a "double homicide or part of a murder-suicide." But no mention of domestic violence.
A July 8 story from ESPN relied on artful phrasing to sidestep the dreaded "DV" words. Police "waited for further tests and the revelations about Kazemi's personal problems before concluding that she pulled the trigger," ESPN explained.
Excuse me, but what do revelations about someone's personal life have to do with figuring out whether she pulled the trigger?
By the following day, the rehabilitation of Ms. Kazemi had shifted into high gear. An article in the Washington Post was crafted to evoke the reader's sympathy, informing us she was "increasingly tormented by a rush of personal problems" and "her life was falling apart."
So while the Washington Post article took pains to highlight Kazemi's emotional turmoil, it glossed over how well Steve McNair was coping with the injuries that sidelined him during most of his previous season with the Baltimore Ravens, and how he was coming to terms with his recent retirement following 13 years in the harsh glare of the National Football League.
Domestic violence workers will insist until they're blue in the face that domestic violence is the consequence of patriarchal oppression. As such, women are constitutionally indisposed to resort to such nefarious actions, they claim.
So when women deep-six their boyfriends and husbands, their apologists turn to the thread-bare excuse that she was only acting in self-defense. But in this case the self-defense ploy doesn't fit. Kazemi had bought the gun two days before, she pursued her prey to his apartment, and he was aslumber when she squeezed the trigger.
If the self-defense argument doesn't fly, then go to Plan B — the "he had it coming" excuse. While I certainly don't condone infidelity, there are lots of women I know who have strayed from the straight and narrow. Somehow I don't remember anyone insulting their memory with a "she had it coming" comment.
McNair threw for 174 touchdowns and more than 31,000 yards. His extraordinary skill and exuberant passion for the sport inspired a generation. So let's take a collective deep breath and utter these mournful words: "Former NFL star Steve McNair was a victim of domestic violence, killed at the hand of a spiteful girlfriend."
No comments yet. So let’s get it started.
Domestic violence is ugly and a clear expression of depravity. The entanglement of two people in their lives together has expressed itself in this horrendous crime.
The death of these two human beings is greatly tragic. To put this into a homicide categaory changes the moral assessment and the right and wrong of personal behavior. the press can hardly examine the roots of this trajedy . The easiest way to deal with the ramifications is to stick the head in the sand and deny the obvious. Give it a name which is tragic but not obvious and we will all be a little more comfortable. (Sarcasm intended)
The woman was distressed about her life. Her choices led her to her death. McNair was a great athlete but in his personal life and eventual demise a lousy example to follow.
Both, exhibited a relationship which stemmed from an internal corruption and a flaunting of moral absolutes. The ensuing trajedy is for sure, an expression of brokenness.
At all ends of the spectrum of influence and financial success, there are tragic events and the ensuing emotional pain and brokenness.
When “you” decide to walk into the darkness and flaunt the moral laws which govern our pilgrimage there is a price to pay. The price can be a slight jog in the conscience or as in this case the depths of emotional horror and finally death. As long as there is emotional energy, life goes on. When the emotional energy dissapates, no one does well when left to themselves.
This is never about what is deserved as a person from another person as in domestic violence.
As an athlete – superb. As for character, a failure as a Man and as a husband. As a role model – never. Corruption knows no boundaries. So what if he established kinesthetically, functionally high achievements? A machine can do the same stuff.
Humanity is more than function and money. Love and fidelity and standing alone against adversity and honor and courage and sacrifice for familfy and all this expressed in an intact family is what humanity is about.
What does it mean to be a man rather than just a male? That’s another topic but not in IC??
Go for it.
Off the top of my head, I think the reason nobody has picked up on the domestic violence angle for this story is threefold:
1) No one cares. In case you weren’t aware, Michael Jackson died. There will be no news more important than this until – maybe – the second coming of Christ.
2) A high-flying, hard-partying sports star who’s screwing around on his wife with a teenager when he has 4 kids at home isn’t a sympathetic figure and frankly doesn’t do much good for the PR arm of the domestic violence industry (there’s plenty of reason to believe Eva Braun was a victim of domestic violence, but you don’t see her turning up in many of the domestic violence guidebooks, you know what I mean?).
3) The term “domestic violence” is traditionally associated with ongoing physical and sometimes emotional abuse of one relationship partner by another. The sudden murder(/suicide) of one relationship partner by another more easily falls under the much more severe description of “murder-suicide”. Being as how poor old Steve was asleep when he was killed, it’s doubtful that young Sahel destroyed his self esteem by shouting vulgarities at him or physically battered him before the fateful shots, so the domestic scene in which Steve found himself the victim of domestic abuse in the form of several bullets to the head and chest is not the one typically drudged up in the public consciousness when the term “domestic violence” is used.