A tribute to IC's brother Nathan Alexander who passed away from leukemia on May 24, 2009. Emily Ham was one of his favorite students and most talented writers. A memorial service is being held at Troy University at 5pm on August 24, 2009.

Some three weeks ago, I had the honor of being asked by Nathan's family to write a farewell of sorts that was to be read at his funeral on May 30. Only nights ago, I watched the footage of his beautiful mother, Sandra, deliver these words in a way that both humbled and taught me more about strength than I've ever learned in one sitting. The Alexander family paid homage to Nathan in one of the most sincere, loving and moving services I've ever witnessed. While Nathan's father, mother and siblings lovingly presented thoughts and feelings about their son and brother, they simultaneously reminded us all that a reunion has already been set into place and I know that through their messages of hope and love, my faith was strengthened. Such a showing of faith and adoration was touching, and I remain in awe and ever humbled to have been a part of such a service.

"Nathan's Hope"

There are no words to adequately express what my feelings are at this exact moment.
But you know, we tend to throw around words without really knowing their meanings.
However, over time, a few words truly become real to us.
This year, I've had a crash course on the meaning of the word "goodbye."
I've learned through saying it and experiencing it, that each time I'm forced to say it, it never gets easier.
But "goodbye" is not the word I choose to remember today.
Today, I choose a word that, in his own way, Nathan Alexander brought to life for me four years ago.

Hope.

The first year I knew him, I "hoped" he picked out the same key terms I'd studied for his tests.
I "hoped" I was a student that would make him proud.
I "hoped" to gain his friendship.
I "hoped" he'd be interested and entertained by the banter he and I shared.
That year, all of my hopes were realized and through our friendship, he taught me a deeper meaning of the word.

He began telling me of his hopes – how he hoped his students were gaining the knowledge that they were capable of brilliantly, mind-blowing accomplishments – that they could go anywhere, study anything and be top-notch historians and academics because they had it in them.
– How he hoped he was making a difference in the life of his daughter and giving her opportunities to be herself and learn about anything that inspired her.
– How he hoped he was affective as a father, professor and friend.
– How he hoped his illness would finally be gone by summer's end.
– How he hoped his current papers would come back without his editors marking up his writing and making him revise for the tenth time!
Except for that last one, all of these hopes have been realized. But besides having to constantly change his writing style on the dozens of papers he was always working on, he also changed so many lives for the better just by living as he always had – with his heart, mind and door open to those who needed him.
And now, as this sorely inadequate offering is read in memory of one of the most kind, generous, intelligent and loving men I've ever known, I must say my hopes have changed.

Now, I hope he knew what an amazing influence he was in my life.
I hope he realized that by treating me as an equal instead of only a student in his class, he made me feel like I WAS something… someone.
I hope he saw the admiration, respect and love I had for him as a scholar, a professor and friend.
I hope he knew that from the moment I met him, I adopted him into my chosen family and that every time he offered advice, a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen to my late-night rants about the injustices of the world, he became even dearer to me.
I hope he realized that through pushing me for excellence, I will forever continue to work to meet his standards.
I hope he realized that I'll still talk to him in my head when I see something that reminds me of him.
I hope that if he's listening in, he'll know I'm not crazy for doing that…
I hope that he does listen in… and I hope that like Rachel's dove, I'll see him from time to time.
I hope this hole in my heart will heal quickly with the knowledge that his dedication to the Lord ensures us all that we'll be in Heaven with him one day.
I hope he knew that by letting me into his life, he changed mine.

Nathan, it is because of you, and people like you, that I continue to hope. I miss you so much, but I don't have to hope you are in a better place because I know you are. I always joked and told you that you were my "hero of the week" whenever you gave me good news about anything, whether it was a change in class schedule or a lede on a possible news story. But the truth is, you're one of my heroes for ALL TIME. Your quirky sense of humor, your advice, your love of all things different and the compassion you showed to your fellow man – these are just a few of the things I'm going to miss about you until we meet for coffee in Heaven. But until then, please know that because of you, anything I become or have the potential to be, you've had a hand in. I can only hope to live up to the example you have set for me.

Visit the Nathan Alexander IC tribute page, where contributions can be made to the Elisa Alexander college fund in his name