The Norwegians have apparently rediscovered religion — in the form of Barack Obama, aka the Chosen One.

What would Alfred Nobel think?

What would he think about the prize bearing his name being given as a consolation prize to a leader of a country which just unsuccessfully lobbied for the Olympics? What would he think about the Nobel Peace Prize going to an elected official whose greatest accomplishment in office is killing a fly during a television interview?

It would be of equal curiosity as to what former Presidents Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton actually think about Obama winning less than a year after his election. Carter, after all, got Menachem Begin and Anwar Sadat to sign a peace agreement and shake hands on the White House lawn. But his Nobel wouldn't come until a quarter-century after the fact. Carter's Nobel had nothing to do with Camp David and everything to do with spiting President Bush. Remember Gunnar Berge? In 2002, Berge was the head of the Nobel Prize Committee. When asked by a reporter if Carter's Nobel was a "kick in the leg" to President Bush, Berge replied, "Yes, the answer is an unconditional 'yes.'" 

As for Clinton, he managed to get Yasser Arafat to shake hands with both Shimon Peres and Yitzhak Rabin on the White House lawn during the signing of the Oslo Accords. Yet for all his international cache, Clinton was not recognized with a Nobel. Obama, on the other hand, can barely get Benjamin Netanyahu and Mahmoud Abbas in the same room and yet he gets to have a dinner held in his honor in Oslo. Perhaps President Obama should invite that kindergarten class from New Jersey to the Nobel dinner so they can sing his praises. Mmmn Mmmn Mmmn. It would be a fitting tribute given that Obama's policies are geared to the mentality of a five-year-old. 

President Obama could use the Nobel dinner as an opportunity to make amends with the Dalai Lama. Four days before the Nobel Committee announced Obama as its winner, the White House announced that President Obama would not be meeting with The Dalai Lama during his visit to Washington. The Tibetan spiritual leader won the Nobel in 1989. The meeting is to be delayed until after Obama travels to Beijing on bended knee to meet with Chinese President Hu Jintao next month. One would think Obama blowing off a meeting with a Nobel laureate would give the Nobel Committee pause. But then again Obama's time is now and the Dalai Lama is, well, so twenty years ago. I mean, if the Nobel Committee didn't give the prize to Obama they would have to give it to some Chinese dissident no one has ever heard of.

So what does a Buddhist teacher have to do to get an audience with the President? Perhaps if the Dalai Lama had called the Holocaust a myth and proclaimed Israel should be wiped off the map Obama could spare five minutes. He would just have to make an adjustment to his schedule and bump General McChrystal. Better yet, the Dalai Lama should establish a military wing called the Tibetan Tigers and begin setting off suicide bombs. Then President Obama, speaking in his preferred language of moral equivalence, would call on both China and the Dalai Lama to stop the endless cycle of violence. It's the kind of engagement Obama can believe in.

Former Polish President Lech Walesa might have had the best take on the whole Obama-Nobel Prize charade. Walesa, who won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1983, upon learning that Obama was the prestigious prize's latest recipient, said, "Who, Obama? So fast? Too fast – he hasn't had the time to do anything yet?" 

The admonishment from Walesa is understandable. All Walesa did was to organize free trade unions and in so doing help to liberate a nation from communist tyranny. Walesa earned his Nobel. Obama hasn't.

Or put another way, awarding President Obama the Nobel Peace Prize makes about as much sense as the Baseball Writers Association of America awarding him the Cy Young Award – in both leagues – for having thrown out the first pitch at this summer's All-Star Game.

After all, what tangible foreign policy achievement has Obama made nearly a year into office? Apart from making a few speeches throwing America under the bus and chairing a UN Security Council Meeting in which he spared the feelings of Iran and North Korea, none come to mind.

Obama has been no more successful in reconciling the Israelis and Palestinians than Bush. He has also needlessly antagonized Israel by trying to make a settlement freeze as a precondition for further talks. Iran carried out a fraudulent election in which protesters were arrested or killed with the President meekly replying that we mustn't meddle in Iran's affairs. North Korea took two of our citizens hostage and began test firing missiles with impunity. The Taliban has rebounded in Afghanistan while Obama dithers as to whether to grant General McChrystal's request for more troops. Russia and China are more cocksure than they were before Obama took office. Not only has Obama not thrown out the first pitch of his foreign policy he hasn't even warmed up in the bullpen.