A Magic Cure


(To rectify your inability to appreciate applied socialism.)

At first, the larger purpose of the opening recollection might be unclear. However, by the end of this composition, the anecdote will have a logical place in the tale about to be constructed.

While growing up in the Stalin-era – which continues to remain the unadmitted preference of “certain circles”- your correspondent had a, then extravagant, craving. It was to one day, once free, to ingest scrambled eggs made with twelve eggs. All eatables were scarce then and we even divided our bread ration in the morning in equal pieces. Eggs existed mainly in dreams located in the land where the Easter Bunny that lays a chocolate-version, is housed. (To locate it on the map, click next to the entry “Socialist Paradise”.) Hunger is no mean achievement in an agrarian country that, prior to being saved from capitalism by a liberating occupation, used to fret about how to export its surpluses. Well, after escaping to the “decadent West” of “crisis-ridden capitalism”, with eggs galore, the eating orgy has not materialized.

Socialism has further, unnoticed blessings. It is kind to bring that up to help that cause. We are talking about a great idea that has, while implemented, murdered in Europe alone about 20-60 million people. China weights in with around a hundred. A system with such effective limits on population growth might not be in need of the praise of the skeptic. An added benefit of the compliment is to raise the confidence of those that aim to improve mankind by cleansing it from scum. If you like to kill legally, then joining such projects is of benefit.

Your correspondent, delighted to have survived upgrading experiments that wished to liquidate him, might be suffering from naïveté. Thus, he is surprised that some dare to advocate trying again, with the soothing promise that old, general, and reoccurring mistakes will not be repeated. That reassurance sounds like that of unrepentant National Socialists. They like to allege that, had a better informed Hitler done a few details differently, all would have turned out to be hunky dory.

An understandably not widely circulated news item appeared on the margins of the April 8 issue of the “Economists”. It reveals that Socialism, having failed to function during the brief moment of the past two centuries has, indeed, some practical present use. It might even turn out to furnish us with an application that will save many of us.

The news –naturally without impertinent comments- is that “over the past year around three-quarters of Venezuelans have lost weight, averaging 8.7 kg (abt. 14 lbs) per person, because of scarcity of food”.

Let us develop the theme further, while Rocket Kim’s weight-watchers can transfer him to Caracas. The left has always claimed that “capitalism kills”. To do so, it resorts to a trick to decimate its “class enemy”, namely the “toiling masses”. It overproduces food. Note that Marx had the foresight to warn about the threat of over-production. Apparently, the surplus is consumed by the “victims of exploitation”. Venezuela’s mutant of “Socialism” has managed to achieve a scarcity of food and that has resulted in general weight-loss. Scrambled eggs, anyone?

If you refuse to be impressed, then, you need to look around. Nudged by this writing, you discover what you have overlooked. It is that masses of fat folks roll around being barely able to propel their carcass overloaded by their fat that wiggles with every step taken. The picture is completed by a condition that might point subtly to the cause of the esthetically troubling picture. Most of the folks with love handles from head to toe have their hands full. One holds sugary soda, the other fast food.

Let us face it; developed societies have created a new malady. It is called obesity. That condition has become so general that it rates as an epidemic. No wonder that, the entrepreneurial blood suckers that operate profit seeking evil capitalism respond.

Rising to the challenge, a large number of medical and paramedical services, but also an army of quacks that cure with snake oil, rise to the challenge. Fitness studios, pledging exercise without an effort, miracle diets that promise weight loss while eating more and surgical interventions abound. Socialists should lament the profiteering and the exploitation of the little idiot that we all carry in ourselves.

Well, by now the Venezuelans can be regarded as being “saved” from their fat. Presumably this does not quite apply to those that are part of the new refugee wave that pours into neighboring countries. As a participant put it, had we not run, “we would have starved”. Meanwhile, the captives of “Bolivarian Socialism”, as implemented by the designated redeemer, Comrade Maduro, get the full health benefits of the superior system they are condemned to.

No need to diet, exercise, discard old bikinis and, being body-shamed, to avoid the beach. Capitalism produces fatsoes. In socialist collectivism everybody is trim, and is getting trimmer than that. Presumably until the ideal death-camp profile is reached. It is very healthy -until full starvation sets in. It comes as a subtly added benefit of the system that alleges that the future – if you survive the present- belongs to it.

The situation in what would be by nature’s generosity, one of the richer countries, re-animates an old joke. No matter whether new or old to you, it is based on a valid observation. While communism lasted, the East of Europe had a favorite joke, perhaps hatched by some smart guy while queuing to purchase a scarce item that in a normal world would have been plenty.

Here it goes: “The problem of the Sahara is the sand there. Getting rid of it is the key to overcome the region’s problems. How is one to go about it? It is easy. Introduce socialism, and within two years that desert will run out of sand”.

Back to the serious. Socialism has a consistent record. Being based on an intelligent man’s two-hundred-years-old erroneous –but at the time not illogical- perceptions and projections, it produces failure in the modern world. The resulting difference between the theory’s stipulations and merciless reality is overcome in two ways.

One is the retreat from fantasy into reality. For the fanatics attracted by creeds that promise to save mankind under their leadership, such a correction of dogmas is impossible. Therefore, what they are left with is to demand from those they had kidnapped, more present sacrifice for the sake of a glorious future. This makes Venezuela’s shot demonstrators are not an “accident”. Those that are awakened to resist, must be eliminated. Thereby the gap between the ideologically postulated “should be” and the existent “is” can be bridged. That is why shooting protesters is not an aberration but a logical, systemic consequence, supported by the testimony of precedents.

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