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The Nerve of Insignificant France Under Chirac the Pretender
by Robert Ditmar
25 March 2003

According to the great French plan, the first order of business is to ask the United Nations to make certain there will be absolutely no British or American involvement in running postwar Iraq.

It appears that the French and their eminent Première, Mr. Jacques Chirac, are once again bringing their circus act to town. This time the Franco-phony clowns, led by Mr. Chirac himself, are acting out their fantasy of being an actual player on the world stage by pretending to dictate postwar terms to the British and the Americans. But this time the act is so ridiculous only the most blind and deaf among reasonable and somewhat intelligent persons would not be laughing out loud at the French sideshow. France, always good for a laugh, never disappoints when performing their clown and keystone kops show in the European Union’s three-ring circus.

The latest incident of which I write concerns the European Union summit meeting this past Friday in Brussels, Belgium. At this meeting, two days into Gulf War II, the esteemed and noble French Première, and I might add, collaborator extraordinaire, Jacques Chirac, addressed the Eurocratic statesmen in typical Franco-phony fashion.  After labeling the current American-British led invasion, in which more than 70 nations are participating in active combat or supporting roles, as an “illegal” attack, the very jealous and envious Première began laying out how France will lead the post-war Iraq rebuilding. It is astonishing to see just how arrogant Chirac and France really are. 

In the great French plan, the first order of business is to ask the United Nations, that other circus of clowns competing hard with France for the title of most insignificant world player, to make certain that there will be absolutely no British or American involvement of running postwar Iraq. Acting in typical Franco-phony fashion, Mr. Chirac stated, "France will not accept a resolution that would legitimize military intervention and give the US and British the powers of administration in Iraq."  This is not surprising as the French are experts at cheesy arguments and masters of “whine.”

Even more remarkable, while acknowledging that France had failed to stop the war and throw a wrench into the British-American plans for the liberation of Iraq, the useful French idiot then opined that the liberating belligerent Western allies were now in breach of international legality. He made clear that France would dictate the terms of all post war administration of Iraq.

As I read this statement from Chirac, some thoughts immediately came to mind, not the least being that of the absolute arrogance and hypocrisy of the French worldview and their attitude toward those that are doing the actual fighting of the war. When one considers that France has done absolutely nothing to help liberate the oppressed Iraqi people, all the while stonewalling and putting up flak toward any proposal the Americans and British made prior to the war to liberate the people and disarm Saddam, it is unbelievable that France now believes it has a right to play a role in postwar Iraq. 

A report today from the liberal British, The Guardian, shows the reality of the oppressed Iraqis. Time and again since the commencement of hostilities on Wednesday, Iraqi soldiers and civilians have not only been surrendering to the Allied forces during the advance, but have totally rejoiced in their liberation from the fear and oppression of the nightmare under which they have lived for over twenty years. According to this report, Iraqis meeting allied troops throw themselves down in gratitude and embrace the soldiers as the saviors that are freeing them from Saddam’s butchers. “You're late,” said Ajami Saadoun Khilis, whose twenty-nine-year-old son had been executed by Saddam’s henchmen last summer. “What took you so long? God help you become victorious. I want to say hello to Bush, to shake his hand. We came out of the grave.” Understand that this is driving Chirac and his Franco-phony nation crazy. Not only because it is another blow to their incredibly arrogant egos as they see once again just how insignificant and minute a player France really has become on the world stage. They are also angry because the United States, Britain, Australia and over 70 other nations are about to start collecting the evidence of France’s deep collaboration with Saddam’s regime since Gulf War I. Despite the many resolutions passed by the United Nations, the guardian of the “international community” to which France claims to be the leading protector, it will soon become clear that France has done nothing except illegally trade with Saddam while the Butcher of Baghdad continued oppressing his own people and remained openly defiant against U.S. and British enforcing the U.N. resolutions. France might as well be pointing their own guns at our troops.

The biggest absurdity is the fact that the Franco-phony Première is even attempting to dictate these terms in the first place. After all, it is because of France’s threats of continuous vetoes that the United Nations has become nothing more than a debating society. It is a result of the French stonewalling that the “world body” would not even consider British and American attempts at a final resolution before the war started. This truly rendered the U.N. as useless and probably signals its death knell.  During the war, you will not see French soldiers, airmen, or sailors being greeted as liberators in Iraq. That honor is falling upon the brave fighting forces of the United States, Great Britain, Australia, and the other 70 or more nations of the Coalition of the Willing. 

You will not see French soldiers taking great pains to avoid innocent Iraqi casualties engaging in a combat of liberation to free this oppressed nation from a dictator who has sent his nation into three wars in the past twenty years, including the 20th century’s third most deadly against its neighbor, Iran. These wars have brought nothing but misery and ruin to his people with the single goal of propping up and glorifying Saddam and his inner circle. You will not see French soldiers meeting entire divisions of Iraqi soldiers, arms up, surrendering by the thousands rather than fight for a dictator while being treated mercifully and humanely by their captors. In this case, I am not sure French soldiers would know how to react to an enemy surrendering to them. That is the role they usually play. You will not see Iraqi soldiers telling French soldiers, as they do to the Allied troops, that they prayed for the day of their own liberation from the Allies and are relieved to see the Americans and British military finally in control.

And most importantly, you will not see French soldiers putting their lives on the line, fighting the hard-core Iraqi loyalist units and Republican Guard, all the while knowing that they may meet their end in a noble cause. You will not see pictures of funerals in France for fallen soldiers that died liberating a nation and making the world a safer place. What you will see is a nation that continues to do what is does best; collaborating with a Fascist-Stalinist dictator while surrendering to pacifism, paralyzed with fear of enemy retribution. Better to cooperate with the Devil, say the French, than to stand up for principle by doing the right and moral thing. France would rather an entire nation continue living in a nightmare under a tyrant, so long as the business deals continue to benefit the Franco-phonies and the Islamists don’t make Chirac declare Sharia law in the next twelve months. One more thing you will not see any French soldiers, or for that matter any Franco-phony doing. That thing will be seeing the nation of “whine and cheesies” not having any direct influence or say in the control and rebuilding of postwar Iraq. After their behavior these past four months, they do not deserve any say in anything. France needs to wake up from its fantasy and quit pretending it is still a world power. Chirac and all Franco-phonies must understand the new reality of the world. The reality is that the French are an insignificant and little has-been nation that really no longer matters to anyone, anywhere and at any time.  But they do make great cheese.

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