In America, unlike
some of the more “progressive” nations of Europe, a person is innocent until
proven guilty. While some folks would like to make it out to be otherwise,
that doesn’t change anything. And as much as a whole lot of abuse is
tossed in the direction of celebrities accused of criminal activity, Kobe
Bryant, and even accused murderers like Robert Blake, are walking around
unshackled and unsupervised till a jury says otherwise.
Kobe Bryant was accused by a woman of sexual assault. The District
Attorney decided that there was enough truth and possible evidence behind
her statement to justify formal charges to be brought against Mr. Bryant.
Nevertheless, just because the state brings charges does not mean that the
actual events occurred as alleged and Kobe Bryant must be found guilty by
a jury of his peers before anyone has the right to claim he is guilty as
Then there is the matter of his admitted infidelity. Kobe has been
legally married for less than a year and he admitted to having committed
adultery. He straight out said this and most every news organization
has repeated that fact.
Well, not exactly. What most every news organization has said is, at
the present time, prior to his trial, Kobe is “only” guilty of adultery.
How about that? Because adultery is no longer a state punishable offense,
it is relegated to being prefaced by “only.”
Fidelity, on the other hand, is relegated to the “really?” file. If
anyone is found to have spent a lifetime, not only in love with the same
person, but true to that person as well, the usual response nowadays is,
We all know that appellate courts in many parts of the nation have -- as
they did in Florida -- usurped parental authority by allowing even 12 year
olds to decide to have an abortion “free” from parental interference.
The courts no longer have as their priority the maintenance of the family
or of traditional values.
Feminist organizations, which long ago ceased to have as their goal equality
between the sexes, now dismiss of marriage between a man and a woman as a
relationship that stifles a woman’s independence, creativity and/or self-determination.
In other words, fidelity, and a caring, loving relationship with reference
to marriage is, in effect, a relic of the past.
A relic that is nothing more than an impediment to the contrived goals
of individuals who, incapable of following in the honest and egalitarian
footsteps of their predecessors, have instead chosen a destructive and exclusive
path that serves no purpose other than to perpetuate the employment and power
of a select few.
Kobe Bryant should not be singled out for his illicit behavior. There
are many others who have transgressed at the expense of their relationship
and more importantly at the expense of an innocent’s heart.
What makes Kobe’s misbehavior stand out is the use it has been for those
who seek to create a sense of acceptance of that behavior, or the obvious
and concerted effort to diminish any outrage by not only all concerned, but
by the general population as well.
In effect, those that believe they gain from lessening the allure of stable
marriages or, more to the point, those that believe the creating of tension
and discord between men and women will keep them in positions of power and
their organizations collecting donations, could care less about the continuation
of marriage or of the traditional family so long as they can strike a cord
with the discontent among us.
Kobe Bryant has been married for less than a year to, by anyone’s standards,
a very attractive woman. Yet, he chose to betray his marriage vows,
and his wife’s trust, with the understanding by some in the media and elsewhere
that other than having to shell out a fortune for lavish gifts for his aggrieved
wife, he should be held without contempt or shame.
In other words, if the “other woman” had not alleged that she had been attacked,
but rather simply claimed the affair existed, why should anyone care, including
Kobe’s wife, over such a minor indiscretion? If the folks who in the
short term believe they and their organizations gain because of a change
in attitudes about fidelity, they will not have to continue to spew their
vile rhetoric about the “evils” of marriage. They need only sit back
and watch the institution of marriage fall apart from the inside.
Unfortunately, along with it there may be untold consequences to virtually
everything decent people hold dear. America itself, the way of life
which honest folks believe is an admirable goal for all, may soon be changing.
A not so small number of Americans believe we are already headed in that
direction and the end of what was once “normal,” is inevitable.
Sadly, in the 21st century, they might be right.
Walfield is a freelance writer and member of the State Bar of California
with an undergraduate degree in Psychology and post-graduate study in behavioral
and analytical psychology.