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Metrosexuals, Democrats and Girly Boys
by Judson Cox
04 November 2003Democrat Donkey

With the exception of Al Sharpton (and possibly Senator Hillary Clinton), no Democratic presidential candidate could be credibly accused of masculinity.

The debate of the week is whether Howard Dean is a metro-sexual. According to the Denver Post, during a breakfast speech in Boulder, Dean declared himself a "metrosexual," the buzz phrase for straight men in touch with their feminine sides, as he touted his accomplishments in "equal justice" for gay and lesbian couples. He then told...an anecdote about being called handsome by a gay man.

It’s hard to imagine any scenario in which Howard Dean's sexuality would be a welcome topic over any meal, especially breakfast. Dean has a capacity for going several steps too far, with speed that would surpass an Olympic runner. YUCK!

Dean need not have declared himself a metro-sexual. With the exception of Al Sharpton (and possibly Senator Hillary Clinton), no Democratic presidential candidate could be credibly accused of masculinity. Reference Senator Kerry's dainty eating when confronted with a Philly cheese steak, Senator Edwards' fondness of male cosmetics, or Senator Lieberman's demure response to every outrageous statement made by Sharpton. Were Sharpton to rant about "blood sucking Jews" again, I wonder how quickly Lieberman would respond, "Amen brother." Even Gen. Wesley Clark is not exactly possessed of testicular fortitude given his repeated waffling on every issue, his indecisiveness and his down right bitchy jabs at the other candidates. Clark is no Patton, and neither is Dennis Kucinich; he prays to the "goddess of peace!"

None of the "Nine Dwarves" could be confused with John Wayne as the archetype of American masculinity, but where are the men on the Republican side of the aisle? In the Senate, they are few and far between. Witness Senator Orrin Hatch's tearfully impotent rage as Senator Patrick Leahy plays keep-away with yet another judicial nominee. Even Majority Leader Senator Bill Frist lacks a substantial spine. Frist crumples like wet tissue in the face of opposition. When the highly qualified circuit court nominee Miguel Estrada gave up, the Democrats won. Frist's response was to hope the Democrats would feel shame and agree to play fairly.

Regardless of their faults, the political heroes of the past were men. Consider Andrew Jackson, who fought duels over points of honor. More recently, consider Senator Joe McCarthy, Senator Barry Goldwater and especially FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover. These men fought for what they believed and let the consequences be damned. Today's politicians are, as Ann Coulter so artfully puts it, "girly boys."

If there was one real man in the Senate, Senator Robert Byrd's wandering, vitriolic rants would be answered by someone with the guts to say, You were a Kliegle in the friggin’ Ku Klux Klan! You have no moral authority here! Or, when Senator Kennedy accuses President Bush of lying, bribery and going to war for political gain -- a charge that is demonstrably false -- he would be stood up to. There is not one senator serving today that has the guts to remind the people of Chappaquiddick. No one has the guts to tell him to go jump in a lake! If there was an Andrew Jackson in the Senate, he would most likely stand before Senator Kennedy and say, You have impugned the honor of the President of the United States, you have degraded the man and the office and you are giving aid and comfort to our enemies. Step outside and let's settle this like gentlemen!

Politicians would be wise to note the popularity of Donald Rumsfeld, and Governor-elect Arnold Schwarzenegger, two purely masculine figures. They should remember Colonel Oliver North's popularity when he stood strong in the face of a liberal witch hunt. They should also remember President Bush's surge in approval when he reacted in a masterful and manly manner to the terrorist attacks. Courage, duty and honor are the qualities found in our heroes, from George Washington to George W. Bush, and millions of pioneers, cowboys and soldiers in between. These are the images we aspire to and the figures we love. No societal fad of metro-sexuality or feminism will replace that, not in the America I know.

Judson Cox is a college student and political columnist.

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