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At the Core of Gay Marriage
by Robert P. Kiley
24 February 2004

Marriage is not an institution for or about individuals, it is an institution designed to promote and protect families.


The same-sex marriage debate should be a simple one, but activists arguing on both sides have failed to focus on the most important issue at hand.

Marriage is not an institution for or about individuals, it is an institution designed to promote and protect families.  Civil marriage recognizes that a husband and wife, working together, undeniably establish the ideal situation to raise children.  No scientific study ever cited can dispute this fact.

In reality, studies that have been undertaken point in the direction that same sex marriage may indeed by detrimental to society.  Take, for example, that marriage is slowly dying in Scandinavia.  In a February 2nd article in the Weekly Standard, Stanley Kurtz discussed an unpublished study of Danish same-sex registered partnerships by a researcher visiting Denmark on a Fulbright scholarship.  Mr. Kurtz noted that,

...a majority of children in Sweden and Norway are born out of wedlock. Sixty percent of first-born children in Denmark have unmarried parents. Not coincidentally, these countries have had something close to full gay marriage for a decade or more.  Same-sex marriage has locked in and reinforced an existing Scandinavian trend toward the separation of marriage and parenthood. The Nordic family pattern -- including gay marriage -- is spreading across Europe.  And by looking closely at it we can answer the key empirical question underlying the gay marriage debate. Will same-sex marriage undermine the institution of marriage? It already has.

More precisely, it has further undermined the institution. The separation of marriage from parenthood was increasing; gay marriage has widened the separation. Out-of-wedlock birthrates were rising; gay marriage has added to the factors pushing those rates higher. Instead of encouraging a society-wide return to marriage, Scandinavian gay marriage has driven home the message that marriage itself is outdated, and that virtually any family form, including out-of-wedlock parenthood, is acceptable.

What we find is that those who support same sex marriage either misunderstand the enormity of their erroneous thinking – or subscribe to complete selfishness.  The gay marriage debate always focuses on “I” and totally dismisses “We.”  “I” have the right to marry whomever “I” want, “I” have the right to love whomever “I” want, “I” have the right to redefine an institution as old as human civilization.

Those that support gay marriage have betrayed American history.  They have betrayed the founding fathers that volunteered their treasure and their lives for a better society…a better “We” if you will.  Those that support gay marriage desire that we continue down the road of individual selfishness – a road that has resulted in millions of abortions, an ever increasing divorce rate, and the poverty that goes hand in hand with single motherhood.

So then, the support of gay marriage is founded upon either selfishness, ignorance or political opportunism.  Perhaps, in some cases, folks encompass all three flaws in their reasoning.

Someone who is gay must succumb to their selfish motivations to desire marriage.  They put themselves before family and society as a whole so they might “feel” accepted.  As society does not stand in the way of any rights for gays – and as society is even ready to provide civil unions to address any possible inequities that may still exist – the selfish motives of homosexual radicals remains unsatisfied.

Heterosexuals that support gay marriage have either decided to push common sense to the side, are ignorant and ill informed, or have decided to go along to get along.  A heterosexual politician who supports gay marriage may encompass all of the preceding flaws, or may simply participate in political opportunism.  Since there can be no debate that the ideal of heterosexual marriage is best for society, and since politicians always wear the badge of doing “what is best for society” when it comes to guns, smoking, alcohol, drugs, seatbelts, fat grams, speed limits etc., then the only remaining explanation is political opportunism.

Same sex marriage, then, is all about selfishness and opportunism.  These two traits are rampant in society today and are illustrated far too clearly in our kids, ourselves and our political representatives.  I guess no one should be surprised to find that these traits are at the core of the gay marriage debate.

Robert P. Kiley is a Chief Financial Officer for the hospitality and real estate development industry in Southeastern Massachusetts.

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