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They May Be Heroes
by Drew Taggart
20 June 2004

Is it really worth it in the long run for bitter ex-girlfriends and wives to shut fathers out of their children's lives in every way possible? The brave and desperate men who fight back against this are heroes, not "deadbeat dads" and fanatics like they are portrayed in the media.

So often in the midst of loneliness and apparent defeat they ask themselves, why? Why the hours put in haggling with ex-wives, lawyers, bill collectors, employers, etc. for our kids? Why not pack it in… go to a new town and “start over?” Just “move on” and “get over it.” Hey… the kids will be fine. Well, things didn’t work out between their mother and I so they would probably be better off without my interference… at least, that’s what society tells us daily. Women are naturally better parents…right? It would be so easy, so very easy to just throw in the towel, cut the losses and run. To find some personal peace in a quiet town, a decent job and maybe get married again… this time to “do it right.”

But many years from now, when the joy of living has been replaced with the inevitably of old age and death, and your children have grown up and gone on with their lives, will they remember you? Will the trading of hostility, threats, slander and bickering for their birthdays, dance recitals, and to be part of their education be worth the price of moving away, moving on and getting over it?

And decades from now when the cold of eternal night begins to settle on your mind and your life is all but gone, wouldn’t you trade all of those years of “peace” for one opportunity - just one - to have stayed and fought and faced down the parasites who profited from your family’s demise? To have stayed and lived a life of honor that is exemplary of your real character, the character of a good man and loving father?

The question is this: Do you love your kids? Do you love them enough to die for them? Yes? Then try this- Try dying for your children, one day at a time, for the rest of your life; make that your solemn and absolute resolve. Then make that ‘Steely Resolve’ an Oath between you and God.

When the adulation of life is gone, the coward sneaks to his death, but the brave live on. - George Sewell

Comforted by the occasional hugs of our children, the small, goofy gifts they make from paper and glue and crayons and who knows what. We can revel in their achievements in math, music, language or athletics and take pride in them all, knowing if we will ever make a positive difference in our world, it will probably be through our children. And the fight inside is so hard, so very, very hard, reminding ourselves daily not to give into hate or bitterness, but to keep a clarity of mind and to love our children.

The presence of a loving father in a child’s life is invaluable, not only to our kids but to every member of society. It is our efforts that provide the underpinnings for an entire civilization which, if allowed to continue on the present course, will soon be teetering on the brink of economic and social collapse. As someone once said, “A family can survive without a nation, but a nation cannot survive without the family.” As we are confronted by so-called “child advocates” bent on social engineering, we are sorely reminded by the words of Saint Augustine:

“Without justice all government is mere robbery.”

Specifically, in the case of the ‘casualty’ father, columnist Kathleen Parker said it best:

"Were mothers routinely robbed of their children, barred from their homes and jailed for failing to pay extortionate sums, we would see blood in the streets."

One day, possibly soon, these men who have ‘Fought the good Fight’ will coalesce as a movement with political muscle and in some ways they already have. Some men have the time, money and presence of mind to attend the occasional meeting or contribute in some form to Men’s/ Father’s Rights group. However large some of them have been shattered financially, emotionally, even spiritually and after exhausting every monetary resource within their grasp they are removed from their children’s lives. They are men who truly loved their families and were robbed of all hope in this life. They gave all they had… and failed… and this happens everyday here in the Home of the Brave and the Land of the Free. Perhaps the one most basic liberty throughout the history of man is the freedom to become and be a parent and today that once valued estate is routinely stolen in our nation’s family court system. Freedom? Not for the divorced dad…

No one wants or condones violence, but what greater cruelty is there than the removal of a loving parent from a child’s life? And when some of these brave but desperate men fight back from time to time does it really surprise anyone? We would all love to believe that eventually our fellow citizens would be shocked by the horror of this ongoing injustice but they are not. These men know the rest of society sees them as little more than sperm donors and meal tickets. Yes, they will fight back and they will die and the media will call them ‘disturbed’ and the government will label them ‘criminals’ but some of us prefer the term ‘heroes.’